Status quo for us, and lucky at that.

Not a lot of activity around here these days. I've been using the internet passively lately.

Through my Dooce reading, I found Sweet Juniper. Through Dutch's posts there I found Sweet | Salty, which has turned out to be one of the most thoughtfully written (mommy)blogs I've seen. When I started reading, Kate was pregnant with twins and I've been hooked ever since. The way she described the alien beings inside her, taking over was wonderful to read. It felt like tuning in to a favorite TV show every day.

It turns out that twins are not a simple thing to pull off (doctor speak: "high risk pregnancy") and well, very nearly the worst thing imaginable has happened. After an urgent c-section with twin-twin transfusion, we watched Ben and Liam's progress in the NICU with rapt attention. Friday when I got home from work, I pulled up all my blogs to read in tabs... no one had posted anything of significance except Kate, who had the courage to tell the whole world about the death of her 6 week old baby boy Liam. I am in awe that she could somehow be eloquent and sorrowful and so well-adjusted after it. If you choose to read it, you should be warned that it is not easy to read. It is the first time I have personally mourned the loss of anyone I've never met on the internet. She's written so beautifully about him, it's hard for me to imagine that level of composure after your six week old child had been intubated repeatedly, had several brain hemorrhages, and had neurosurgery. And then didn't make it. I would be literally out of my mind with sadness and the farthest thing from my mind would be blogging. Being able to do it well would be unattainable.

I'd had what I thought was a "bad day" on Friday. I went to work over-tired, had some scheduling goof-ups and was generally out of sorts far out of proportion to anything that actually happened to me. Simply reading a blog gave me instant perspective on just how fortunate I am, how fortunate T and I are to have this rambunctious running screaming kicking throwing hooting nutball kick-ass toddler that we do. Effortlessly, we are all alive and well, and for that, I am immensely grateful.