It seems all the morning news shows have been putting some breaved family member of some 9-11 victim every single day. Nearly every sentence coming out of their mouths begins with "if." The last one I just saw actually blamed the Clinton administration. This is such typical "lazy american" behavior. Dissecting the past, looking for fingers to point. The outrage can't possibly be helped by the abrupt death of our smugness. Let's face it, we all thought we were unassailable prior to the attacks.

We're going to spend a huge amount of energy fruitlessly trying to undo the past while we prod the beast even more by blowing up Iraqis. I mean, we might as well change our flag to a logo that depicts the Koran with a steaming pile of dogshit on it. Well, I shouldn't complain- any bad press for Bush is good press.

Coming up: How to bitch about having the lowest gas prices in the world.