I'm sitting in my living room, minding my own business, trying to watch the news when they show up. Who are these fat, unattractive people? Why the fuck are they yelling at me? I don't need a mattress. I do not want to see their funny-looking kids. I do not want to sleep like a baby. Why is this irritating commercial on every 5.6 seconds? I swear they break into regular programming to show us these frenzied, obese and loud people. I'm thinking of buying a mattress that I don't need from anyone but them, just to be punitive. Obnoxious bastards.